SAILOR JOKES

> > A young single guy on a cruise ship is having the time of his life.
> > On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and
> > begins to sink.  Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and
> > drowning, but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood
> and,
> > using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the
> > shark-infested sea to a remote island.
> >
> > Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns
> his
> > head and sees a woman lying near him, who had also managed to
> survive
> > this far, but she was unconscious and barely breathing.  He makes
> his
> > way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to
> get
> > her breathing and conscious again.
> >
> > She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you
> > saved my life!"  He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!
> >
> > Days and weeks go by.  Cindy and our guy are living on the island
> > together.  They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and
> > they're in heaven.  Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and
> > they're making passionate love morning, noon and night.  True Heaven
> on
> > earth in the man's eyes.
> >
> > Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum.  "What's the
> > matter, sweetheart?" she asks.  "We have a wonderful life together
> and
> > I'm in love with you.  Is there something wrong?  Is there anything
> I
> > can do?"
> >
> > He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is.  Would you mind, putting on my
> > shirt?"
> >
> > "Sure," she says," if it'll help."  He takes off his shirt and she
> > puts it on.
> >
> > "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.  "Sure, honey, if it's
> > really going to make you feel better," she says."  Okay, would you
> put
> > on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks.
> >
> > "Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does.
> >
> > Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the
> > island?"
> >
> > She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off
> in
> > the other direction.
> >
> > They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later.  He
> > rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude!
> You'll
> > never believe who I'm sleeping with!"
>