KIDDY JOKES
I dont know if these are true ..enjoy anyway .. These are from an actual
newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by
Jack Handey."
My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him
we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told
him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset
him. Age 10
When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he
better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. Age 5
I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm."
Unless it was just a lawn mower. Age 11
I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine
that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny
cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and
sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. Age 13
I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my
dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog
people sure don't have a sense of humor. Age 14
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which
is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the
last day of their life? Age 15
Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think
aboutthe last words of my favorite uncle: "A truck!" Age 15
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting
for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Age 8
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside
a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. Age
7
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about
letting just any old yokel vote. Age 10
Home is where the house is. Age 6
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my
teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Age 15
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an
accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be
right there. Age 5
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to
accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. Age 13
The people who think Tiny Tim is strange are the same ones who
think it odd that I drive without pants. Age 15
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of
Halloween. Age 13